Sunday Night Dinner Instructions
1. Hike 21 miles through the desert
2. Take a handful of linguini and place it in a pot
3. Fill the pot to 1/3 of its volume with cold water
4. Add a quarter of a stick of butter
5. Add 2 oz. of olive oil
6. Add a pinch of garlic powder
7. Mix contents of pot using an aluminum spork
8. Let the pasta soak for 15 minutes
To consume, start by chewing on the crunchy pasta till half gone. Then, drink all liquid, including the unabsorbed olive oil on the surface. Then finish eating the remaining pasta.
If you've done all this, you have now experienced my dinner Sunday night. It was terrible.
Pro tip: If you are going camping stoveless (like me), do not experiment with instant pasta while on the trail.